


Young or Old

by Sub_Rosa



Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Universe, Dubious Consent Due To Identity Issues, F/M, Morally Ambiguous Character, Multiple Personalities, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-08
Updated: 2016-03-08
Packaged: 2018-05-25 12:41:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6195505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sub_Rosa/pseuds/Sub_Rosa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes Nelliel Tu Oderschvank is a little girl named Nel Tu. And sometimes Nel Tu is a grown woman named Nelliel Tu Oderschvank. They're completely different people, but they're also the same.</p><p>Ichigo loves them both in completely different ways - one is his lover and another is a dear friend - and that's okay with all of them. Even if no-one else gets it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Young or Old

_Another day, another inter-division incident to unravel…_

Ichigo sighed as he kneaded his temples, his eyes downcast across his desk. He nearly fell asleep where he sat, even clad in his Captain’s haori and shihakusho.

 _Why does Soi-Fon have to be so stuffy? Send one Shinigami over_ _and she throws a shitfit over 'jurisdiction'… It’s not_ our _fault that Hollow teleported into her barracks…_

A knock at the door shook him out of his reverie, and his eyes darted up to the door.

“Captain? There’s someone here to see you.”

Ichigo perked up as he felt a very familiar Reiatsu tingle across his skin.

“Come in!”

His lieutenant opened the door to Ichigo’s office, pushing up his glasses with a smirk as he allowed the guest into the room.

“ITSYGO!” Nel cried out at the top of her child-sized lungs, darting forward in with her signature super-acceleration and savagely hugging Ichigo around the neck. “I missed you!”

It was a sign of Ichigo’s closeness with the child that he was able to take her crushing assault as a sign of affection rather than an attempt to choke the life out of him.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” He half-laughed, easily managing to breathe despite her suffocating grip. “You know I had some business to take care of, and this was as fast as I could get back.”

“Yeah, I know...” She trailed off. “I still missed you, tho’...”

He smiled. “I missed you too, Nel.”

_And I missed Nelliel, too…_

“Come on, let’s go home.” Ichigo said. Nel quickly acquiesced, moving from her place around his neck and coming to a stop on his shoulder.

He stood up-

“GAH!” Ichigo nearly squealed, as the weight next to his neck increased exponentially.

Nelliel, in her full adult glory, grinned like a maniac. “Sorry, ‘Itsygo’... I guess I’ve been saving up my Reiryoku while you were gone!”

“Should have warned me…” Ichigo grumbled in mock rage. “Little brat.”

She smiled, and Ichigo almost managed to scowl back.

Nelliel was childish because she was a grown-up who occasionally chose to act like a child. Nel was childish because she was a child. Both of them were endearing in their own way, and Ichigo knew it.

“Hey! Stop dawdling and take us home, Ichigo!”

“Yeah, yeah.”

He disappeared in a burst of Shunpo, taking the Arrancar with him.

* * *

Night came and went, leaving Ichigo alone.

Sort of alone. It was complicated.

When Nelliel couldn’t muster the Reiatsu to stay as an adult for more than a few hours, let alone as she slept, there was no way that she could sleep in the same bed as Ichigo. Not when she would go to sleep and Nel would wake up next to him.

That wasn’t happening, and Ichigo, Nel, and Nelliel all agreed on that. So Nelliel went to bed in her own room every night.

Ichigo didn’t like that it had to happen, but after his shit-show of a life he’d learned to accept all kinds of crazy compromises.

“Hey, Nel.” He whispered, after knocking on the door to her room and cracking it open. “Wake up, I’ve got breakfast.”

The girl’s eyes flew open so fast one might think they had been aided by Sonido.

“Come on downstairs. I made pancakes!”

He blitzed down the stairs, with Nel hot on his trail, emerging in the kitchen where a platter of greasy and syrupy pancakes awaited the both of them.

“I bet I can eat more dan you can, Itsygo!” Nel cried, furiously digging into the pile. He rolled his eyes.

“After seeing your Cero Doble, I don’t doubt that.” He said with a light smile, watching Nel tear into her food.

“You got me.” She shrugged.

He watched her for several moments, noting her joy as she sated her hunger. Nel was a bit like Karin or Yuzu at times… with no reservations and superpowers. Which was a thousand times better and worse than either of his sisters could ever hope to be.

“Nel… why were you saving up your power while I was away?” Ichigo eventually asked, preparing himself for the answer he expected, the worst news he could hear. “Do you like being a grown-up more?”

Sometimes Ichigo saw a bitter frustration in her eyes, frustration that - as a spirit - she could never grow old properly. The only way she could live as an adult was by overloading her Reiatsu to the proper level, which created such a dramatic shift in body and brain that she practically became a different person.

Hell, the adult could be so different from the child - with all of the brain development that one had and the other lacked - that they’d had to use distinguishing names to tell the two phases of Nel(liel) apart.

‘Phases’. He liked that turn of phrase, reminiscent of the phases of matter. Maybe Nel and Nelliel were the same person on some level, but they were so different at times that it was hard to tell.

But regardless, if Nel didn’t like being a child… then that was a problem Ichigo couldn’t help her with. Not with Orihime and Kisuke both…

No. He didn’t think about the Blood War anymore, and he absolutely hated feeling helpless to help his loved ones.

Nel spoke after a few moments of chewing and swallowing.

“No, I like bein’ a kid! Sometimes I like bein’ a grown-up too, but dere’s nothin’ wrong with bein’ like dis.” She said, brushing off his concerns. “Nah, I did it becuz you seem to like me better when I’m all grown-up.”

Ichigo flinched. Somehow that was even worse than he was expecting.

“Do I really?” Ichigo quietly asked.

“Well…” Nel murmured. “Sometimes.”

Ichigo thought for several seconds. There wasn’t much on the agenda for today, save for paperwork, and he could let Ishida do it all…

Yeah, he could do that. Maybe the Quincy would find the bureaucracy soothing.

“Alright then.” Ichigo declared. “I’ll just have to prove you wrong!”

Nel stared upward in confusion.

“Maybe I get all kissy and gross with you when you’re grown up, but you’re still just as fun to spend time with when you’re just Nel.” Ichigo said with a grin. “So… I’ll prove it to you. Where do you want to go, what do you want to do today?”

He didn’t normally spend time with Nel, not with the piercing and gossiping gazes of the crowds of Soul Society, branding him a pedophile for his relationship with Nelliel. Sometimes he almost believed their words… but Nel never minded him being with her adult incarnation, and Nelliel always told him off when he bought into their perspective.

Maybe it was time he grew a thicker skin, he realized.

Nel leaned forward… and poked him in the face.

“Tag… yer it!”

Ichigo blinked, parsing her words slowly.

“‘Eternal Pursuit’, eh?” Ichigo mused. “Alright, you little masochist, you’d better believe that I’m coming for you!”

Nel leapt upward with a mock scream of horror, dashing away and out the door. Ichigo smiled as he began chasing after in their game of tag.

Sometimes, Ichigo wondered if anything like Heaven could really exist, especially when Soul Society could still be so corrupt at times… but if he had to pick his Heaven, he would pick a moment like this.


End file.
